living in the now

May rolled through windy and quick.  There were three birthdays in our home, the ending of another sports season and a short trip out-of-town. And with each occasion, there was packing and planning and people to appease. To Do lists were tucked deep in pockets, coming out only to be checked and crossed off.

And staying in the moment and fully engaged is not a simple feat; I am easily distracted. Before balloons are popped and streamers discarded, my mind wanders to the next instead of focusing on the brand new of now.

But she swept through from South Carolina in May, the easy to love, pearl wearing, white-haired, grandmother of mine. And with her she packed a contagious laugh and straight to the heart conversation that makes me miss her when she leaves.  

And we went for a drive in my brother’s jeep. And we giggled like schoolgirls as our tresses flew from smooth to tangles.  And I saw my grandmother’s hair move, maybe for the first time in my life. And it made me smile. Really smile.      

And in my mind, I plead with myself to live in this moment, to stamp these tangible minutes.  To see my young brother, more man than boy, who will leave for college next year.  And my mother’s mother, with soft weathered hands,  polished with grace. And in the backseat, to my left, my daughter who howls with arms in the air. And to my right, my mother, joy filled.

I snap away at the camera resting in my lap, but it’s not the picture I desperately want to frame, it’s the memory. And there is no list tucked deep in pockets more precious than the sweetness of now.

Finding Heaven

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10 thoughts on “living in the now

  1. You know, I’m just a blubbering mess when I read posts about grandmothers. Yes, it is the memories that far outweigh the pictures in frames when the time really counts.

  2. I have lost both my grandmothers when I was quite young. I miss them. But what the loss has taught me is to hold on to the memories with everything I have and live there.

    Powerful post!

  3. Beautiful. I love your “in the now” theme. It’s about the moments… the memory making moments that etch into our brain something about truth and love.

    Thank you for sharing.

  4. Grace polished hands. My heart smiled at that mind picture. I thought of the grandmother who went to Heaven when I was twelve and my mother who lives in this world. The same long fingers with character in the thinning skin. Now once in a while I look at mine and see the same shape, the thinning skin, and hope that mine will hold as much character as theirs. Grace polished hands.

  5. I miss so much of the “brand new now” as you so eloquently phrase it. I’m easily distracted, my eyes focused on the next big(or small) thing. This is a lovely reminder. And I just love, love that photo of your grandma in the jeep! [as well as the thought of perfectly coiffed hair blowing into a rumpled mess!]

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